Couples with busy lifestyles often wonder why they don’t have the same spark as they had at the beginning of their relationship, or why their communication has deteriorated. Time and work demands can contribute to this and the couple as an ‘organism’ needs loving attention and tending to as you would anything to keep it alive. Many find that after having children their energy and loving attention for each other dwindles greatly. If this continues, over time it can create painful problems like disconnection, distancing and conflict. These are strong signs of a need for relationship attention and nurturance.
When couples are feeling the pain of distance and disconnection in their relationship there are usually underlying issues and beliefs. How does this get corrected in a way that starts healing a breakdown in communication and distancing. In relationship counseling I work with the couple dynamic – your communication style with each other, the ‘hotspots’ that create communication problems, areas of provocation and escalation, and ways of addressing the unhealthy patterns. Together we work on deepening understanding in the relationship. I offer couples practical and accessible tools to take home in order to re-establish connection.
Building a Strong Communication Base
Communication problems start to arise when little or no energy is available for the relationship – whether it’s to do with children, stressful work or family commitments. Couples may start experiencing a breakdown in communication, increased irritation with each other, misunderstandings, conflict or distrust. These are strong signs to take a breather and reassess the situation. To pull back our energy and start re-building the goodwill in the relationship.
Integral to our work is:
- assessing unhealthy communication patterns and negative beliefs that may be affecting the growth and loving respect in a relationship,
- offering practical tools where couples strengthen awareness of limiting beliefs and are able to release these together,
- building communication practices that support listening, empathy, trust and respect in the relationship.
- supporting couples to use consistent communication strategies that instill wellness and deepen connection.
When we work with people on nurturing their relationships, we ask them what they are consciously doing to nurture their love relationship. This doesn’t require a lot of time, but does require consistency. They might be small acts of kindness, intimacy and respect. It is the quality of the connections that people make with one another that contributes to filling the relationship with juice.